Personally, I've loved seeing you write about God. I have also in the past year, 6 months really, started to rebuild my faith. I needed to lose it to find me, I think, and I needed to find me to find a faith that is authentic and safe and healthy. I do not only know now, but believe in my body that I do not need to hate myself to love God, and God does not want or need my self-hatred to love me in return. I'm glad to read your things on here as Mighty Networks isn't great for accessibility, so i don't get over there much anymore. But I will keep paying and supporting you as long as you have it available to do so. Because we keep growing and learning and changing together. It's a beautiful, affirming thing really. I hope people are understanding and kind about it. In any case, I'm happy for you and all of the healing you've been able to achieve. Much love. :)
Your journey seems pretty similar to the one I am on (I am also a writer). I escaped a toxic, fundamentalist cult. Spent a lot of years learning how to human better, heal the damage, and become who I actually am (non binary, bi etc). Also like you, I've come to realize that the place where I keep finding myself drawn to within keeps throwing up annoying road-signs that say 'god/dess -----> This Way'. I ignored them for quite a while, thinking it was just damage. Over time, I realized that the impulse to reject/avoid was actually the damage, and that my upbringing had broken the part of me that trusts anything outside myself in terms of the divine (or whatever term you want to use.) Once I started following the signs I realized that, whatever sick nonsense was shoved down my throat as a kid... this path looked absolutely nothing like it. The more I walk it, the more I realize that where I wanted to go, and where this new path is going are the same thing. And following that path does not mean following a religion (though it certainly doesn't exclude it). It just means listening to the same, quiet voice that got me out of the cult to begin with. Whatever that is.
"The more I walk it, the more I realize that where I wanted to go, and where this new path is going are the same thing." This is so beautifully said, and I feel exactly the same way.
Personally, I've loved seeing you write about God. I have also in the past year, 6 months really, started to rebuild my faith. I needed to lose it to find me, I think, and I needed to find me to find a faith that is authentic and safe and healthy. I do not only know now, but believe in my body that I do not need to hate myself to love God, and God does not want or need my self-hatred to love me in return. I'm glad to read your things on here as Mighty Networks isn't great for accessibility, so i don't get over there much anymore. But I will keep paying and supporting you as long as you have it available to do so. Because we keep growing and learning and changing together. It's a beautiful, affirming thing really. I hope people are understanding and kind about it. In any case, I'm happy for you and all of the healing you've been able to achieve. Much love. :)
Your journey seems pretty similar to the one I am on (I am also a writer). I escaped a toxic, fundamentalist cult. Spent a lot of years learning how to human better, heal the damage, and become who I actually am (non binary, bi etc). Also like you, I've come to realize that the place where I keep finding myself drawn to within keeps throwing up annoying road-signs that say 'god/dess -----> This Way'. I ignored them for quite a while, thinking it was just damage. Over time, I realized that the impulse to reject/avoid was actually the damage, and that my upbringing had broken the part of me that trusts anything outside myself in terms of the divine (or whatever term you want to use.) Once I started following the signs I realized that, whatever sick nonsense was shoved down my throat as a kid... this path looked absolutely nothing like it. The more I walk it, the more I realize that where I wanted to go, and where this new path is going are the same thing. And following that path does not mean following a religion (though it certainly doesn't exclude it). It just means listening to the same, quiet voice that got me out of the cult to begin with. Whatever that is.
"The more I walk it, the more I realize that where I wanted to go, and where this new path is going are the same thing." This is so beautifully said, and I feel exactly the same way.